And a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger on the Side

by nicolecallihan

Yesterday, my dad called. Hey sis. Hey Pappy. What’s going on? He tells me he just bought a hybrid. Groovy, I say. And, he says, I’ve decided to become a vegetarian. (This from a man who’s been known to eat meatballs the size of small planets.)
Wow, I say. You know they don’t eat meat, right?

Yea, yea. I’m going fresh. Fresh vegetables, fresh fruits. I’ll live forever.

Great, I say. What’s for lunch?

Oh, I just swung into Wendy’s, got a salad and a small chili. It’s real good if you just pour the chili right on top.

Uhm, dad, chili?

Well, it doesn’t have that much meat in it. Just a smidge.

Ah…the smidge. Gets you every time.